Saturday, June 11, 2011

Two Weeks Later?!

Button Gwinett, NPC
(note the white powdered wig!)

Considering all the extant glitches, lockups, temporary freezes, tone deaf "nice" dialogues with children and the "freedom" to play Fallout 3 any grotesque way you feel like (and apparently some of you FEV failjobs feel like Jack the Ripper or Jeffrey Daumer) — considering all that — it should not have surprised me when the sophomoric ending came and everybody died except the narrator and his or her sophistries. The game can be amateurish, at times.

It ends. Like that. Pitched battle, impending disaster in the water purifier, rushing in where angels LOL at the stupid storyline, saving the world. But deader than Spock from radiation. Flash to white. Interminable sepia-toned testimonial to follow.

So there you are, dead, without so much as a so-what left in this game. Shouldn't we have ignored the main quest for another hundred hours or so?

Not to worry, children. If you bought the Game of the Year edition, you have four or five ways to continue the action. In fact, one of the them is automatic. After the sepia junknotes, before the credits roll, you regain consciousness "two weeks later."

My sarcasm level topped out at 110 (off the scale) on this level, but  then I found the hilarious Button Gwinett, so it won't be awhile before I reenter the simulator...!  The one NPC, absurdly, in the whole game who can understand and relive American history from memory.  Unlike Abraham Washington, who's got it all ludricrously wrong, a bit like Sarah Palin.



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