Pale in America

Miami Vice... err... VICE CITY STORIES...! Hm. This Grand Theft Auto incident, dated 2006, for the Sony PSP handheld is rated M for its 17+ content, but could just as easily be rated JJ for Jackass Juvenile.

Unfortunately, for such a bucket of Hillary Clinton-baiting sleazebag wifebeatin' rednecks and viciously repulsive lack of even moderately insipid character, the technical values of GTA Vice City Stories are brilliant, and the humor (when and where it surfaces) is gut-wrenchingly funny. The story is set in Miami, 1984, the Reagan Era, and the plot line (if there actually is one) apparently is a conflict between unreconstructed bubbahood and immigrant hispanics who occupy too much space in the old South.

The "radio stations" illustrate it all: R-r-r-r-r-adio Espantoso leaves us all a bit aghast with a vicious rip at Antonio Banderas (?) and itty little fuzzy animals, plus mainstream Latino stuff like Oye como va; while Emotion 98.3 features wall-to-wall power ballads exploring a deep wellspring of hormonal weepiness to drown in — music by Pat Benatar, Toto, The Pretenders, Foreigner and many others. There are six other stations, including mind-bending "public radio" and the all-music Paradise. I hate it. I love it. No, I hate it. I really do. I... I... Oh my god, those tiny Venezuelan villages!

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By the way, there are other famous brain traumas to give us all hope for Gabby besides Jim Brady. It's fictional, sure, but I do rather like The Bride from QT's Kill Bill. _{— Thanks, and tip of the "Hell, No!" hat to Sarah Barracuda}