Friday, January 07, 2011

GTA Chinatown Wars: Dragon-Haul-Z

This gets 7 out of 10 on the Pesky Missions Meter. You have to track down the Chinatown Festival truck, stop it in its tracks, steal it, drive it to a back alley behind the Liberty City Bank, meet up with Zhou, practice dragon dancing, perform the actual festival dragon dance and at the end slip away to safety.

The pesky bits are coordinating the fire breathing dragon's turns left, right and around in tiny circles, while breathing fire on cue. You've gotta use your arrow keys (← and →); correctly whether the dragon is going north or south, and get it right every time or else.

Ten out of ten on the PMM is the inconceivably inept Midgard Serpent bug in Tomb Raider Underworld.

As non sequitur goes, though, it's nice that NewSouth Books, who have tried yet again to expurgate Huckleberry Finn, are finally as offended by the word "nigger" as everyone else... even if they have missed the point entirely about Mark Twain's deliberate N-bomb tossing. Sure beats explaining the concept of racial slurs in class to southern white kids, when you're not entirely sure about that one yourself.

"Oh, mah! Did ah say something wrong?" — matronly Indian elephant, referring to Walt Disney's African elephant child, Dumbo (Shhh... You can tell by the ears.)

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