Sunday, November 21, 2010

Paparazzi Wild Chase Ratatouille

There are a couple of ways to pervert (heh) GTA Chinatown Wars even more. One way is to redraw the mazelike map as a maplike maze and replace the cars with rats tracking down cheese 'n stuff while avoiding cats. The juvenile humor bits could be rats and cats doin' stuff...

Another way is to make Wills and Kate be "It" and then everybody else is paparazzi trying to get their stuff together (cameras, film, fake invitations, fast cars, nunchuks...) just in time before the Big Day, 29 April 2011 at Winchester Cathedral, then everybody gangs up after the wedding in a wild chase around the streets of London. Juvenile humor provided by steamed up stretch Ferrari windows.

This ends in one of three ways, i.e., Wills deftly swipes your sparkling Nikkor lens with Vaseline, you get a shot of Kate's true blue garter (Brazilian photoshopped later, if necessary), you get several closeups of the dying couple gasping and gazing about after the inevitable highspeed bloody smashup at Gants Hill bloody roundabout in the NE bloody London borough of bloody Redbridge.

For extra points, you pose as a concerned Belgian|Swiss|French|etc. tourist, by sheer happenstance an obstetrician, just passing by the gory scene; you inject Missus Winzzer's half-dead limo driver's carotid artery with bloody Beefeater's, sending his blood alcohol level through the roof, where flights of bloody angels speed him to his bloody rest. All Paparazzi Go Free.

Paparazzi, rats, yakuza, cheesy plot...? Same thing, really. Ok, Legal, where's the prior art on this one?



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