Scorpio (Oct. 23–Nov. 21)

Smiles today avail you nothing. People think you're up to something. The meter maid ignores your protests. Your tone of voice aggravates everyone. Your dog snaps at you. Your cat has disappeared. Your parrot has zits. Your passport expired last week, but you haven't noticed. If your natal Moon was in Pisces, you're off your meds. Seek help, if anyone cares. Ignoring you and your petty problems altogether, Gargoyle has been running on Linux since August of 2009. Some things are more important than you. Get a life.