“Screwed”

I had a flat. Took it to the garage. They fixed my flat. They had a big jar of rusty screws on the counter. I paid my bill (only $20). What caused the flat? You guessed it. A screw. They gave me the screw. I put it in the jar.

A "screw"...

Everyone I tell this story to laughs. It's always a "screw." I say that word with air quotes now. It's a fill-in word. A plausibility word. It's just bubbles in the tire. Where the bubbles come out, that's where the leak is, that's where you patch. The thing that caused the flat is never in the tire. Tell 'em it's a "screw." They'll buy that. It doesn't matter anyway! The flat is fixed!

I'd tell you what a rusty screw is, but frankly it doesn't bear repeating.