Michael Jackson buried at Forest Lawn

I see Michael Jackson was buried in Los Angeles last night, six weeks late.

The canopic jars† will be launched into space on a regular schedule over the next four years, or as flagging song sales warrant.

†Ironically, no canopic jar has ever held a brain — a mysterious haggis-like grey organ which the ancient Eqyptians discarded as an utterly useless source of moist rot and decay. That said, there is NO truth to the rumor that Skull & Bones, the Yale secret society, has already enshrined Jackson's brain in a Futurama-esque Leyden Jar at Lodge 322. None. "If I had said that, I would be wrong." — Mr. Waturi, Brain Cloud, p. 8