Monday, August 31, 2009

Songs of the Singing Sword (1984)

"There is a sword here, in the Sandstone Chamber, with its blade plunged deep into the block of stone. The sword is singing quietly to itself."

The singing sword may be found in Mike Goetz' B03 Adventure for CP/M, compiled March 20, 1984, and probably in other versions of this classic old text adventure as well.

As you might expect from a bright bit of magical cutlery, the sword has exquisite musical tastes. If you leave it lying around in the various chambers of Colossal Cave, you may find it again, when you return, in one of these random musical modes...
  • There is a magic sword here, chiming out the bell-like tones of "Khumbu Ice-Fall" by ringing its blade against the ground.

  • There is a sword here, singing "A Day in the Life" in a quiet, introspective voice.

  • There is a sword lying on the ground, jauntily whistling the march from Tchaikovsky's "Nutcracker Suite".

  • There is a sharp and shiny sword here. It is somehow managing to sing Harry Partch's "Dafne (sic), of the Dunes" without destroying its singing organs (whatever they happen to be...)

  • There is a very strange singing sword here - it is glowing and vibrating, and the eerie electronic notes of Charles Wuorinen's "Time Encomium" issue from its blade and fill the air.

  • The stirring strains of Rossini's "William Tell" overture fill the room, coming from a singing sword lying on the ground.

  • There is a sharp sword lying here. It is (somehow) singing Tchaikovsky's "1812 Overture" in twelve parts, by itself!

  • There is a sharp and obviously magical sword here. It is quietly humming excerpts from Prokofiev's "Romeo and Juliet" ballet to itself.

  • There is a singing sword lying on the ground. From it resound the massed voices of a two-hundred-singer choir, filling the air with the stirring sound of the hallelujah chorus from Handel's "Messiah".

  • There is a sword here, singing "Witchi-Tai-To" in two-part harmony with itself.
As you have so readily discerned, the sword is quite the counter-cultural romantic, cutting (as it were) across several traditions to the bone of excellence. As an unknown blade, it has of course no name — at least none mentioned aloud. But, though never a treasure, it will eventually become... a trifle, a nothing, a bagatelle, a bauble in the mists of time...

>throw sword
The sword halts in mid-air, twirls like a dervish, and chants several bars of "Dies Ire" in a rough tenor voice. It then begins to spin like a rip-saw blade and... [spoiler redacted]... The sword is lying on the ground, sparking and flaming. Before your eyes it softens and melts, writhes as if in pain, and shrinks rapidly until all that is left is a... [spoiler redacted]... which cools rapidly.

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Sunday, August 30, 2009

District 9

All you really need to know about District 9 is that the sequel is likely to be named District 10. I rate it 2 catfood cans out of 5.

Maybe 2.5, because the Nigerians, like Hamlet's players, made a neatly recursive restatement of the broader ugly situation.


Saturday, August 29, 2009

Safeway Classic

Gee, the way ESPN2 told it this afternoon (for less than one hour!), Michelle Wie was self-destructing with 4 bogeys. She finished the second round one under par.

Cheezit, dudes. She saw your four bogeys and raised you five birdies!

[Update: Sunday, August 30, 2009] Not too shabby, another $72 grand down the hatch. Six top ten finishes in 14 starts. At this rate, she'll sock away a million before the season's up. Wie (-11) finished tied for fourth with Ai Miyazato and Seon Hwa Lee, behind Michele Redman (3rd in the playoff), Suzann Pettersen (2nd) and M. J. Hur (1st) at -13 under par. The Korean tide continues. It's nice that Wie, an American, is part of it.


Friday, August 28, 2009

I haven't said anything about Ted Kennedy, yet...

I liked the full-throated, non-triangulating liberal he was — and I don't buy all the revisionist Republican cant about Kennedy the Great Compromiser. Not all of it.

So far as Republicans should be concerned, Ted Kennedy was the promised land they've lost forever.

The rest of the Democrats, maybe including Barack Obama if he'll grow a spine and get with the program, will now dictate the future for Americans, just like FDR did over sixty years ago.

I liked the story on NPR's News Hour the other night about Ted Kennedy going to Mass in St. Paul, Minnesota on a Wednesday. No earthly reason to be going to church on a Wednesday, right? Apparently, this inspired Tom Oliphant, the Boston Globe columnist who was tagging along with Ted, to wonder aloud where the youngest Kennedy brother got his passion for helping the poor from?

"He looked at me like I was from Mars," Oliphant said, "and then he asked me, 'Tom, haven't you ever read the New Testament?'."

The woods are full of Bible-thumping Republicans. I'll take a Democrat who'll walk the walk and witness by example any day.

[Update: Sunday, August 30, 2009] Nice funeral service at Our Lady of Perpetual Help Basilica in Boston (thank you, CSPAN). Only Catholics would make you say that out loud. But, hey! Actually teared up thinking of my own dear old dad, Dale Dana Oshel, D.V.M., d. June 2, 1971.


Thursday, August 27, 2009

World's Best Operating System

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, and today is a gift. That's why they call it the present.
            —Linux Fortune Cookie


Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Mood match (buddy, got a light?)

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

"Ponyo is adorable!"

Well, what do I know? Apparently, Ponyo is a chick flick. I can sorta see it, maybe, but Fujimoto is still a creep with all the wrong vibes. He shouldn't be allowed near schools, but the rest of it is — yes, I swallow my cynicism — a half-decent fairy tale for persons with two X chromosomes. My 16-year-old loves it.

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Monday, August 24, 2009


Michelle Wie's die-hard detractors have nothing to cheer about this morning. She played huge (3-0-1 in her matches) and helped carry home the Solheim Cup for the Americans, driving 305 yards to beat the battling Helen Alfredsson by 1 up. The U.S. beat the Europeans 16-12.

When the Olympics finally adds eight days of team and individual Golf to the Games, the Solheim Cup will vanish in interest, because it won't be just the Americans vs. Europeans anymore. Korea, Japan, China, Mexico and Latin America are far more likely to sweep the medals when they have a chance to actually enter the competition!

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Sunday, August 23, 2009

Zorknotes, yet again

I lost the Perl version of this cgi script when I upgraded to Ubuntu 9.04 because, stupid me, I didn't back up /usr/lib/cgi-bin/ before repartitioning my hard drive. I've rewritten it from scratch in the Ruby scripting language, and I'm backing it up in my blog for sanity's sake. Unless you're a programmer, you'll find it useless. Even if you're a programmer, I don't ordinarily distribute my sqlite3 db file(s), so it's still useless. Note that the reprehensible Ruby spoken here gargles with an impossibly thick C brogue (i.e., no class at all).

# zorknotes.rb
# This is a minimalist version of my old cgi script.
# Place this file in the standard Apache 2 /usr/lib/cgi-bin/
# Call with URL = http://skoojewa/cgi-bin/zorknotes.rb?0.1
# Please note that I do NOT distribute, give away or provide sqlite3 databases,
# so don't even ask.
# d.c. oshel
# 2009 august 23

require 'cgi'
require 'sqlite3'

version = "2.01"

puts "CONTENT-TYPE: text/html\n\n"
puts "<HTML><HEAD><TITLE>Zorknotes</TITLE></HEAD><BODY BACKGROUND=\"http://skoojewa/~dave/ZeldaBG.png\">"
puts "<CENTER><font color=\"GOLD\"><h3>Davey Jones' Antique Zorknotes for CP/M Adventure (580 Points)</font></h3>"
puts "<TABLE WIDTH=\"76%\" CELLSPACING=\"0\" CELLPADDING=\"3\" BORDER=\"2\"><TR ><TD WIDTH=\"75%\">"

cgi =
a = cgi.query_string

num = a.to_f #0.1 is the preferred default

cmd = "SELECT code, name, level, description, remark, n, s, e, w,
ne, nw, se, sw, u, d FROM adv WHERE code = #{num.to_s}"

db = "/home/dave/db/dave.sqlite" )
label, row = db.execute2( cmd )

i = 0
row.each { |col|

# arrange columns in easy-on-the-eyes vertical display

hue0 = i % 2 == 0 ? "#beaded" : "#cfbefe"
hue1 = i % 2 == 0 ? "#b8a848" : "#c9b959"

# if col contains a db vector, make it a link (normally use #{variable_name} within quotes!)

words = col.split(/ /)
words.each { |b|
a = ""
if b.to_f != 0.0 then
if b.to_f < 19.0 && !/,+/.match(b) then # kludge - special cases for numbers in text
a = "<a href=\"http://skoojewa/cgi-bin/zorknotes.rb?#{b}\">#{b}</a>"
col.gsub!(b, a)
# assemble the table row

a = label[i].upcase
print "<TR><TD BGCOLOR=\"#{hue1}\" WIDTH=\"15%\" ALIGN=\"RIGHT\">#{a}</TD><TD BGCOLOR=\"#{hue0}\">#{col}</TD></TR>"
i = i + 1


def litem( code, name )
puts "<li><a href=\"http://skoojewa/cgi-bin/zorknotes.rb?#{code}\">#{name}</a></li>"

puts "<font face=\"Arial,Lucida Grande,Helvetica,Sans Serif\" size=\"-1\"><i>Some points of interest:</i><BR>
litem( "0.0","Title Card" )
puts "<BR>"
litem( "0.1","End of Road" )
litem( "0.11","Building" )
litem( "1.2","Debris Room" )
litem( "3.0","Y2" )
litem( "6.3","Plover Room" )
litem( "3.3","Hall Mountain King" )
litem( "4.3","Bedquilt" )
litem( "8.1","Sorcerer's Lair" )
litem( "10.7","Breathtaking View" )
litem( "15.0","Computer Center" )
litem( "16.0","Study" )
puts "<BR>"
litem( "2.31","Pirate's Maze" )
litem( "2.51","Vending Machine Maze" )
litem( "4.211","Witt's End" )
litem( "8.222","Icy Tunnels" )
litem( "10.911","Colored Fogs" )
litem( "11.0","Catacombs" )
puts "<BR>"
litem( "10.92221","Fake Y2" )
litem( "10.94","Precarious Chair" )
litem( "-100.0","Ephemerae" )
litem( "-10.1","Magic Words" )
puts "</ul><BR><BR>
<i><b>Zorknotes #{version}</b></i>
h. friley hall
puts "</TD></TR>"
puts "</TABLE></CENTER><img src=\"http://skoojewa/~dave/SQLiteLogo3.png\" align=\"right\"></BODY></HTML>"

I lied. Here's the data in sqlite3 format:

CREATE TABLE adv (code NUMERIC, name , level , description , remark , n , s , e , w , u , d , nw , ne , sw , se );
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(-10.1,'Magic words','NOTEBOOK','There are "old, used-up" magic words that Adventure recognizes','including SHAZAM and ABRACADABRA. You get a "nice try" message.','Is CAVE magic or','just a misapplied','fast word?','','word - unknown at this time.','Don Woods told me a few years ago that the wizard''s "magic word" was a checksum he calculated based on time of day and a few other knowable factors. It had limited application even in those days, and was just used during debugging. 25 July 2003, d.c.oshel','WIZARD, you will be','Also, if you say','supplying THE magic','asked to prove it by');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(-10,'Known commands','NOTEBOOK','take,n,s,e,w,u,d,ne,se,sw,nw,look,go,','','','','','','','','','','','');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(-4,'Bedquilt','NOTEBOOK','Bedquilt''s occasional vectors match an overlay with the Swiss','Cheese Room. Suggests a room with click vectors going N and U.','<> Complex Junction?','<> Swiss Cheese type','','','<> Complex Junction?','','<> Swiss Cheese type','','','');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(-2.3,'Dragon','NOTEBOOK','The dragon''s corpse disappears when the cave closes and the call','for adventurers to assemble in the Treasure Room goes out.','','','','','','','','','','');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(-2.2,'Dwarves','NOTEBOOK','Dwarves eat coal, don''t throw food. "phuggg" is the Djinn''s word','to kill dwarves (maybe). Is the djinn generous with bad advice?','The vial causes them','to gag, retch and','leave the room. Is','there any coal in','ADV doesn''t know the','word "coal", though.','food for dwarves, &','the cave? Coal is','way to be friendly?','there may be some');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(-2.1,'Ogre','NOTEBOOK','When I first started with Adventure, there were a couple of times','when I found the Ogre before ever locating the Giant Room. Is','this a "bug", or is','it a clue to the','location of the','Treasure Room where','the Oyster is part','of the clue??','the cave closes??','you have to go when','of Adventure where','Is there a version');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(-2,'Living Things','NOTEBOOK','Living things in the Cave: Bird, Snake, Dragon, Plant, Troll,','Ogre, Dwarves (12 in all), Pirate, Slime, Mushroom, Wizard, Clam','Bear, Tortoise,','Djinn','','','','','Ralph Witt,','Personal Names:','Darwin, Omar Khayyam','Jerry Cornelious');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(-1.2,'Useful objects','NOTEBOOK','Useful objects: Black rod, keys, food, cage (for bird), bottle,','singing sword, vial of oily liquid','','','','','','','','','','');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(-1.1,'Treasures','NOTEBOOK','mithril ring, Persian rug, Ming vase, jade bracelet, rare spices,','golden chain, turquoise beads,','Pieces of eight,','crown, gold nugget,','sceptre, diamonds,','pyramid, trident,','silver bars, opals,','Pirate''s chest','crystal sculpture,','pearl, jewelry,','emerald, ruby yacht,','coins, scrimshaw,');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(-1,'Motifs','NOTEBOOK','There is a list of known themes and riddles in the HINT section.','','','','','','','','','','','');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(-0.5,'Things Not Tried Yet','NOTEBOOK','Using objects in combination. Is everything a treasure? Using','the metal plate for something else. Floating the toy boat.','','','','','','','','','','');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(0.1,'End of Road','Forest','You are standing at the end of a road before a small brick building. Around you is a forest. A small stream flows out of the building and down a gully.','The game begins, or restarts, at this location.','0.2 Open forest','0.4 Valley','0.11 Building','0.7 Up hill','0.7 Up hill','0.4 Valley','*','*','*','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(0.11,'Building','Forest','You are inside a building, a well house for a large spring.','There are some keys on the ground here.
There is a shiny brass lamp nearby.
There is food here.
There is a bottle of water here.','*','*','*','0.1 End of road','*','*','*','*','*','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(0.2,'Open forest','Forest','You are in open forest, with a deep valley to one side.','','0.3 eventually, otherwise self (you can tell by dropping something here)','0.2 self','0.4 Valley','0.2 self','*','0.4 Valley','*','*','*','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(0.3,'Near Valley & Road','Forest','You are in open forest near both a valley and a road. ','','0.1 End of Road','0.2 Forest','0.4 Valley','0.4 Valley','*','0.4 Valley','*','*','*','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(0.4,'Valley','Forest','You are in a valley in the forest beside a stream tumbling along a rocky bed.','Try going DOWNSTREAM.','0.1 End of road','0.5 Dry streambed','0.2 Forest','0.2 Forest','0.2 Forest','0.5 Dry streambed','*','*','*','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(0.5,'Dry streambed','Forest','At your feet all the water of the stream splashes into a 2-inch slit in the rock. Downstream the streambed is bare rock.','','0.4 Valley','0.6 Grate','0.2 Forest','0.2 Forest','*','<> You don''t fit through a two-inch slit!','*','*','*','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(0.6,'Outside Grate','Forest','You are in a 20-foot depression floored with bare dirt. Set into the dirt is a strong steel grate mounted in concrete. A dry streambed leads into the depression.','The grate is { locked | open }. You need the KEYS.','0.5 Dry streambed','0.3 Near Valley & Rd','0.3 Near Valley & Rd','0.2 Forest','*','1.0 Below the grate','*','*','*','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(0.7,'Up Hill','Forest','You have walked up a hill, still in the forest. The road slopes back down the other side of the hill. There is a building in the distance.','','0.2 Forest','0.2 Forest','0.1 End of road','0.1 End of road','*','*','*','*','*','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(1,'Below the Grate','Upper level','You are in a small chamber beneath a 3x3 steel grate in the surface. A low crawl over cobbles leads inward to the west.','The grate is locked. The grate is open.','*','*','*','1.1 Cobbles','0.6 Outside grate','*','*','*','*','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(1.1,'Cobbles','Upper level','You are crawling over cobbles in a low passage. There is a dim light at the east end of the passage.','There is a small wicker cage discarded nearby.','*','*','1.0 Below the Grate','1.2 Debris room','*','*','*','*','*','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(1.2,'Debris room','Upper level','You are in a debris room filled with stuff washed in from the surface. A low wide passage with cobbles becomes plugged with mud and debris here, but an awkward canyon leads upward and west. A note on the wall says "Magic word XYZZY".','A three foot black rod with a rusty star on an end lies nearby.','*','*','1.1 Cobbles','1.3 Awkward canyon','1.3 Awkward canyon','*','*','*','*','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(1.3,'Awkward Canyon','Upper level','You are in an awkward sloping east/west canyon.','','','','1.2 Debris room','1.4 Orange chamber','1.4 Orange chamber','1.2 Debris room','','','','');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(1.4,'Orange Chamber','Upper level','You are in a splendid chamber thirty feet high. The walls are frozen rivers of orange stone. An awkward canyon and a good passage exit from east and west sides of the chamber.','A cheerful little bird is sitting here singing.','*','*','1.3 Awkward Canyon','1.5 Dome, misty pit','The orange column (2.3120) in the Pirate''s maze is just above, but there is no way up. Toss treasures from up there, down here.','*','*','*','*','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(1.5,'Dome, misty pit','Upper level','At your feet is a small pit breathing traces of white mist. An east passage ends here except for a small crack leading on. Rough stone steps lead down the pit.','','*','*','1.4 Orange chamber','<> "beak" crack (In some versions, you can squeeze through, or use the bird to retrieve an item back in there, but not this one.)','*','2.0 Hall of Mists','*','*','*','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(2,'Hall of Mists','Two','You are at one end of a vast hall stretching forward out of sight to the west, filled with wisps of white mist that sway to and fro almost as if alive. Rough stone steps lead up to a passage at the top of a dome above you. A wide staircase runs downward into the darkness; a chill wind blows up from below. There are small passages to the north and south, and a small crack leads east. ','','3.3 Hall of Mt King','2.02 Nugget room','2.01 Sandstone room','2.1 East of fissure','1.5 Dome, misty hole','3.3 Hall of Mt King','','','','');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(2.01,'Sandstone chamber','Two','You are in a small chamber to the east of the hall of mists. The walls are composed of rough red sandstone. There is a large, cubical chunk of rock in the center of the room.','There is a sword here with its blade plunged deep into the block of stone. The sword is singing quietly to itself.','','','','2.0 Hall of Mists','','','','','','');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(2.02,'Nugget room','Two','This is a low room with a crude note on the wall. The note says, "You won''t get it up the steps".','There is a large sparkling nugget of gold here! ','2.0 Hall of Mists','','','','','','','','','');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(2.1,'East side of fissure','Two','You are on the east bank of a fissure slicing clear across the hall. The mist is quite thick here, and the fissure is too wide to jump. ','[If you wave the rod:] A crystalline bridge now spans the fissure.','','','2.0 Hall of Mists','2.2 West of fissure','','','','','','');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(2.2,'West side of fissure','Two','You are on the west side of the fissure in the hall of mists.','A crystalline bridge now spans the fissure.
There are diamonds here!','2.3 Hall of Mists, W','','2.1 East of fissure','2.3 Hall of Mists, W','','','','','','');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(2.3,'Hall of Mists West','Two','The passage north seems pointless, unless it also leads somewhere','else, somehow. This is the parallel passage.','2.2 West of fissure','2.31 Pirate''s Maze','2.2 West of fissure','2.4 Long Hall East','2.3100 Pirate''s Maze','','','','','');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(2.31,'Maze','Pirate''s Maze','Maze of Twisty Little Passages, All Alike.','The pirate''s chest is in here somewhere...!','2.3100','2.3104','2.3103 this way','2.3101','2.3 Hall of Mists W','*','*','*','*','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(2.3101,'Maze','Pirate''s Maze','','','2.3100','2.3101','2.3102','2.3101','*','*','*','*','*','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(2.3102,'Maze','Pirate''s Maze','','','*','*','*','2.3101','*','*','*','*','*','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(2.3103,'Maze','Pirate''s Maze','','','*','2.3108 this way','2.3104','2.3100','*','*','*','*','*','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(2.3104,'Maze','Pirate''s Maze','','','2.3103','2.3107','2.3106','2.3103','2.3105','2.3105','*','*','*','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(2.3105,'Maze','Pirate''s Maze','','','*','*','*','*','2.3104','2.3104','*','*','*','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(2.3106,'Maze','Pirate''s Maze','','','*','*','*','2.3104','*','*','*','*','*','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(2.3107,'Maze','Pirate''s Maze','','','*','*','2.3104','*','*','*','*','*','*','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(2.3108,'Maze','Pirate''s Maze','','','2.3109','2.3111 this way','2.3103','*','*','2.3110','*','*','*','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(2.3109,'Maze','Pirate''s Maze','','','*','2.3108','*','*','*','*','*','*','*','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(2.311,'Maze','Pirate''s Maze','','','*','*','*','*','2.3108','*','*','*','*','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(2.3111,'Maze','Pirate''s Maze','','','*','2.3116 this way','2.3108','2.3112','*','2.3113','*','*','*','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(2.3112,'Maze','Pirate''s Maze','','','*','*','2.3111','2.3113','*','*','*','*','*','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(2.3113,'Maze','Pirate''s Maze','','','*','2.3114','2.3116','2.3112','2.3111','*','*','*','*','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(2.3114,'Maze','Pirate''s Maze','','','2.3116','2.3115','*','2.3113','*','*','*','*','*','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(2.3115,'Maze','Pirate''s Maze','','','*','*','*','2.3114','*','*','*','*','*','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(2.3116,'Maze','Pirate''s Maze','','','2.3118 this way','2.3116','2.3113','2.3111','2.3114','2.3117','*','*','*','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(2.3117,'Maze','Pirate''s Maze','','','*','*','*','*','2.3116','*','*','*','*','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(2.3118,'Maze','Pirate''s Maze','','','2.3118','*','2.3120 Orange column','2.3116','*','2.3119','*','*','*','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(2.3119,'Maze','Pirate''s Maze','','','*','*','*','*','2.3118','*','*','*','*','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(2.312,'Orange Column','Pirate''s Maze','This is the Pirate''s subtle way of decoying you off the track.','You were so relieved to find a way out, you missed the secret!','2.3123','2.3121','2.3122 this way','2.3118','*','1.4 Orange chamber!','*','*','*','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(2.3121,'Maze','Pirate''s Maze','','','*','*','2.3120','*','*','*','*','*','*','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(2.3122,'Maze','Pirate''s Maze','','','2.3120 Orange column','*','*','2.3123','*','*','2.3125 Pirate''s Lair','*','*','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(2.3123,'Maze','Pirate''s Maze','','','*','2.3120','2.3122','2.3124','*','*','*','*','*','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(2.3124,'Maze','Pirate''s Maze','','','*','*','2.3123','*','*','*','*','*','*','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(2.3125,'Pirate''s Lair','Pirate''s Maze','The Pirate''s Treasure Chest (and anything else he may have picked','up from you) is located here...IF you''ve seen him at least once!','*','*','*','*','*','*','*','*','*','2.3122');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(2.4,'Long Hall East','Two','There are no obvious side exits.','','2.6 Crossover','','2.3 Hall of Mists, W','2.5 Long Hall West','2.3 Hall of Mists, W','2.5 Long Hall West','','','','');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(2.5,'Long Hall West','Two','There are no obvious side exits.','','2.6 Crossover','2.5100 VendoMat Maze','2.4 Long Hall East','*','*','*','*','*','*','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(2.51,'Maze Twisty Little','Vendomat','This is the Maze of Twisty Little Passages, All Different. The','vending machine with fresh batteries is in here (pick any path).','2.5101','2.5102','2.5104','2.5103','2.5105','2.5 Long Hall West','2.5109','2.5106','2.5107','2.5108');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(2.5101,'Maze Little Twisty','Vendomat','','','2.5108','2.5103','2.5107','2.5106','2.5104','2.5105','2.5102','2.5110 to vendomat','2.5100','2.5109');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(2.5102,'Maze Twisting Little','Vendomat','','','2.5103','2.5101','2.5110 to vendomat','2.5100','2.5109','2.5104','2.5106','2.5105','2.5108','2.5107');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(2.5103,'Maze Little Twisting','Vendomat','','','2.5105','2.5109','2.5102','2.5108','2.5106','2.5100','2.5110 to vendomat','2.5107','2.5101','2.5104');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(2.5104,'Little Twisty Maze','Vendomat','','','2.5109','2.5107','2.5101','2.5110 to vendomat','2.5108','2.5106','2.5105','2.5102','2.5103','2.5100');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(2.5105,'Twisty Little Maze','Vendomat','','','2.5100','2.5106','2.5108','2.5109','2.5110 to vendomat','2.5107','2.5101','2.5103','2.5104','2.5102');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(2.5106,'Twisting Maze Little','Vendomat','','','2.5104','2.5110 to vendomat','2.5109','2.5107','2.5100','2.5102','2.5103','2.5108','2.5105','2.5101');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(2.5107,'Little Maze Twisty','Vendomat','','','2.5106','2.5108','2.5103','2.5105','2.5102','2.5101','2.5100','2.5104','2.5109','2.5110 to vendomat');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(2.5108,'Twisting Little Maze','Vendomat','','','2.5102','2.5104','2.5105','2.5101','2.5103','2.5109','2.5107','2.5100','2.5110 to vendomat','2.5106');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(2.5109,'Twisty Maze Little','Vendomat','','','2.5110 to vendomat','2.5105','2.5100','2.5102','2.5107','2.5108','2.5104','2.5101','2.5106','2.5103');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(2.511,'Little Maze Twisting','Vendomat','','','2.5107','2.5111 to vendomat','2.5106','2.5104','2.5101','2.5103','2.5108','2.5109','2.5102','2.5105');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(2.5111,'Vending Machine','Vendomat','You will need coins to get batteries from the vending machine.','','2.5110','*','*','*','*','*','*','*','*','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(2.6,'Crossover','Two','N/S passage crosses E/W passage here.','','2.61 Dead end','2.5 Long Hall West','3.33 Westside chambe','2.4 Long Hall East','','','','','','');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(2.61,'Dead End','Two','"Stand where the Statue gazes, and make use of the proper tool"','is scrawled on a rock here.','*','2.6 Crossover','*','*','*','*','*','*','*','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(3,'Y2','Hall of Mt King','A hollow voice says PLUGH. Takes you to Building, Zorknote 0.11

PLOVER takes you to the Plover Room, Zorknote 6.3','Fake "Y2" guarding catacombs is not named Y2.','*','3.2 crossing passage','3.1 Broken Wall','3.01 East Window','*','*','*','*','*','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(3.01,'East Window','Hall of Mt King','Window overlooks Mirror Canyon. Similar West Window is harder to','get to (see Note17.3). Thrown objects fall into Mirror Canyon','*','*','3.0 Y2','*','*','*','*','*','*','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(3.1,'Broken Wall','Hall of Mt King','Arrive here from Hall of Mists, proceed on to "Y2", by asking for','Y2.','*','*','*','*','2.0 Hall of Mists','3.0 "Y2"','*','*','*','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(3.2,'crossing passage','Hall of Mt King','N/S passage crosses over an E/W passage; can''t seem to find a','name for this place.','3.0 Y2','3.3 Hall of Mt King','*','*','*','4.0 dirty broken passage','*','*','*','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(3.3,'Hall of Mt King','Hall of Mt King','You are in the hall of the mountain king, with passages off in all directions.','A huge green fierce snake bars the way!','3.2 Low N/S passage','3.34 Southside chamber','2.0 Hall of Mists','3.33 Westside chamber','2.0 Hall of Mists','3.35 Vault','3.31 Division','3.32 Morion room','3.41 <>Secret Canyon','3.36 crankshaft passage');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(3.31,'Division','Hall of Mt King','passage divides into two spurs','','3.312 Spherical cham','3.3 Hall of Mt King','3.311 Dank Cubicle','*','*','*','*','*','*','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(3.311,'Dank Cubicle','Hall of Mt King','Mushroom grows here. Another grows after a period of time.','Eat the mushroom for great strength.','*','3.31 Division','*','*','*','*','*','*','*','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(3.312,'Spherical chamber','Hall of Mt King','Vial is here. Vapors in vial have an effect on anything living,','such as the bird.','3.31 Division','*','*','*','*','*','*','*','*','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(3.32,'Morion room','Hall of Mt King','Gem-encrusted helmet (a morion) is here.','','*','3.3 Hall of Mt King','*','*','*','*','*','*','*','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(3.33,'West side chamber','Hall of Mt King','Rare coins are here; the Vending Machine will take these and','dispense fresh batteries. The game''s not usually that long, tho.','*','*','3.3 Hall of Mt King','2.6 Crossover','2.6 Crossover','3.3 Hall of Mt King','*','*','*','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(3.34,'Southside chamber','Hall of Mt King','Jewelry is here. The stuff MAY be magical, but this is not yet','proven. Another room with no apparent name.','3.3 Hall of Mt King','*','*','*','*','*','*','*','*','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(3.35,'Vault','Hall of Mt King','Walk-in safe is here. The skeleton has the magic word which','opens the safe, different every game.','3.3 Hall of Mt King','*','*','*','3.3 Hall of Mt King','*','*','*','*','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(3.36,'crankshaft passage','Hall of Mt King','simple N/S passage with no name','','3.361 bend in cranks','3.3 Hall of Mt King','*','*','*','*','*','*','*','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(3.361,'bend in crankshaft','Hall of Mt King','bend, W goes S, E goes N. This forms the picture of a crankshaft','on a map.','3.362 Tool room','3.36 crankshaft pass','3.362 Tool room','3.36 crankshaft pass','*','*','*','*','*','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(3.362,'Tool room','Hall of Mt King','"Witt Company Tool Room - Melenkurion Division". This is a magic','word, the "tool" for where the statue gazes.','*','3.361 bend in cranks','*','*','*','*','*','*','*','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(3.41,'Canyon crossing','Secret Canyon','Secret E/W canyon crosses over tight N/S passage. May go down,','but not up.','*','*','3.3 Hall of Mt King','3.42 Dragon Bend','*','18.0 Tight N/S pass','*','*','*','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(3.42,'Dragon Bend','Secret Canyon','Secret canyon turns North and East. Dragon here. Kill it and get the teeth. Dragon lies on a persian rug.','','3.43 Slab room crossing','','3.41 Canyon crossing','','','','','','','');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(3.43,'Slab room crossing','Secret Canyon','Name is unknown. Shortcut to Bedquilt levels. RESERVOIR works','for fast motion. Use BACK to get back quickly from reservoir (!)','3.44 Mirror Canyon','3.42 Dragon Bend','','','','4.7 Slab room','','','','');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(3.44,'Mirror Canyon','Secret Canyon','Vertical mirror separates the East Window and West Window, 50'' up','on either wall of the canyon. See Notes 3.01 and 17.3.','3.45 Reservoir South','3.43 Slab room cross','','','','','','','','');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(3.45,'Reservoir South','Secret Canyon','Arrive from north shore by riding the Tortoise, then say "BACK".','Allows you to take things to the Balcony, if this does any good.','9.0 <> Reservoir N','3.44 Mirror Canyon','*','*','*','*','*','*','*','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(4,'dirty broken passage','Bedquilt','','','*','*','4.01 Brink clean pit','4.1 dusty rocks','3.2 crossing to Y2','*','*','*','*','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(4.01,'Brink of clean pit','Bedquilt','This is the long way to fetch water.','','','','','4.0 dirty broken','','4.011 pit with water','','','','');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(4.011,'Clean pit','Bedquilt','There is water here.','','*','*','*','*','4.01 brink clean pit','*','*','*','*','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(4.1,'dusty rocks','Bedquilt','Going U from Bedquilt will sometimes get you to this point.','','*','*','4.0 dirty broken passage','*','*','4.2 Complex Junction','*','*','*','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(4.2,'Complex Junction','Bedquilt','Is it possible that this place is more "complex" than it appears?','','5.0 Shell room','*','4.21 Anteroom','4.3 Bedquilt','4.1 dusty rocks','*','*','*','*','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(4.21,'Anteroom','Bedquilt','A few recent issues of "Spelunker Today" are here. Written in','Dwarvish. Of course, you read magazines in waiting room?','*','*','4.211 Witt''s End','4.2 Complex Junction','4.1 dusty rocks','*','*','*','*','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(4.211,'Witt''s End','Bedquilt','"Cave under construction beyond this point. Proceed at your own risk."','Leave the magazine here to get the last measly point in Adventure.','4.21 If you go N often enough you''ll reach the Computer Center (15.0).','4.21 "','4.21 "','4.211 Witt''s End (!)','4.21 Anteroom...???','4.21 "','4.21 "','4.21 Anteroom...???','4.21 "','4.21 "');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(4.3,'Bedquilt','Bedquilt','Bedquilt is the most complex room in Colossal Cave. The vectors','shown on this card are not always available.','<> See 4.31, 4.32','<> See 4.33, 4.34','4.2 Complex Junction','4.4 Swiss Cheese','<> See 4.31, 4.32','<> See 4.33','<> See 4.34','','','');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(4.31,'Bedquilt I','Bedquilt','The vectors here are analogous to those in the Slab Room.','Cf. 4.7','17.2 <> 3 Canyon Jn','','','','17.1 <> Upper canyon','','','','','');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(4.32,'Bedquilt II','Bedquilt','The vectors here are analogous to those in the Complex Junction.','Cf. 4.2','10.0 <> Low room','','','','4.1 <> dusty rocks','','','','','');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(4.33,'Bedquilt III','Bedquilt','There appears to be a third "fold" in Bedquilt which corresponds','with the Slab Room.','','4.7 <> Slab Room','','','','4.21 <> Anteroom','','','','');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(4.34,'Bedquilt','Bedquilt','The vectors here are analogous to those in the Swiss Cheese Room.','Cf. 4.4, where these two directions have exact counterparts.','','4.41 <> Tall Canyon','','','','','6.0 <> Oriental Room','','','');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(4.4,'Swiss Cheese Room','Bedquilt','There seems to be a bedroom metaphor here','','','18.1 <> Tall E/W Canyon','4.41 Soft room','4.5 TwoPit East','','','6.0 <> Oriental room','4.3 Bedquilt','','');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(4.41,'Soft Room','Bedquilt','Can''t look behind curtains, move rug, get moss, etc. This seems','like a fairly pointless room.','*','*','*','4.4 Swiss Cheese Rm','*','*','*','*','*','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(4.5,'TwoPit East','Bedquilt','These could be shoes under the bed (?). The west pit has the','beanstalk, the east pit has oil. Thrown objects land in Cavern!','','','4.4 Swiss Cheese Rm','4.6 TwoPit West','','4.51 Oil pit','','','','');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(4.51,'Oil pit','Bedquilt','Timing is a consideration. You need the oil in the Giant level,','but water the plant first. Use bottle to carry both H2O & oil.','','','','','4.5 TwoPit East','','','','','');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(4.6,'TwoPit West','Bedquilt','HOLE ABOVE WEST PIT leads to Giant sequence. Water the plant.','"Reservoir", "back". Objects thrown into pit land in the Cavern!','','','4.5 TwoPit East','4.7 Slab room','','4.61 Beanstalk pit','','','','');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(4.61,'Beanstalk pit','Bedquilt','CLIMB the fully-grown plant to get to the...','7.0 ...hole above the west pit.','','','','','4.6 TwoPit West','','','','','');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(4.7,'Slab room','Bedquilt','BEDQUILT is fast word, but redundant.','','4.3 Bedquilt','4.6 TwoPit West','','','3.43 Secret Canyon !','','','','','');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(5,'Shell room','Shell','The "clam" is an oyster with pearl. Get the trident.','','','4.2 Complex Junction','','','5.1 coral passage','5.01 ragged sharp walls','','','','');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(5.01,'ragged sharp walls','Shell','downward sloping passage, the pearl rolls away down here','','','','','','5.0 Shell room','5.011 cul-de-sac','','','','');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(5.011,'cul-de-sac','Shell','Pearl rolls into this chamber.','','','','','','5.01 ragged sharp walls','','','','','');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(5.1,'coral passage','Coral','Smell of sea water here.','','','','5.2 quicksand passage','','5.2 quicksand passage','5.0 Shell room','','','','');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(5.2,'quicksand passage','Coral','The patch of damp sand is QUICKSAND.','','','','5.3 coral fork','5.1 coral passage','','','','','','');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(5.3,'coral fork','Coral','The whale metaphor becomes strong here.','','5.31 Fourier passage','','5.32 Jonah room','5.2 quicksand passage','','','','','','');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(5.31,'Fourier passage','Sea inlet','Homer nods here, with a technotwit allusion to sine waves. Is','this the whale''s spout?','','','','','','','','','5.3 coral fork','5.311 three moons cliff');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(5.311,'three moons cliff','Sea inlet','We are "outside" -- on another planet? Three moons and aurora','light the place. High on cliff, beach is below.','','','','5.31 Fourier passage','','5.312 beach','','','','');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(5.312,'Beach','Sea inlet','The pirate''s dinghy is here. Pieces of eight. Allusion to a sea','cook is obscure. Beach with sea inlet in sight.','','','','','5.311 three moons cliff','','','','','');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(5.32,'Jonah room','Whale','Ribbed walls here, the whole passage is reminiscent of Pinocchio,','Guippetto, Jiminy Cricket...not to mention Jonah and the Whale.','','5.321 jaws','','5.3 coral fork','','','','','','');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(5.321,'jaws','Whale','Scrimshaw sculpture of a spyglass here -- very obscure. Cave','stalactite formations make clenched jaws from the inside.','5.32 Jonah room','<> beyond jaws???','','','','','','','','');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(6,'Oriental room','Plover','Ming vase is here.','','6.1 clockwise path','','','10.0 Low room','','','','','','4.4 Swiss Cheese Rm.');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(6.1,'long clockwise path','Plover','This path sweeps around a misty pit with splashing noises, above','the whirlpool Cavern. Path sort of resembles constellation Leo','','6.0 Oriental room','','6.2 Alcove','','','','','','');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(6.2,'Alcove','Plover','Eerie green light from the Plover Room keeps dwarves at bay.','The crack east is only wide enough for you and the emerald.','','','6.3 Plover room','','','','6.1 clockwise path','','','');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(6.3,'Plover room','Plover','Eerie green light here, emerald here. Emerald slips away if you','try to teleport it with PLOVER (returns to Y2, Zorknote 3.0).','*','*','*','6.2 Alcove','*','*','*','6.31 Dark room','*','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(6.31,'Dark room','Plover','Platinum pyramid, 8 inches on a side. Mysterious! There is a','photography metaphor the message sarcastic?','','6.3 Plover room','','','','','','','','');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(7,'hole above west pit','Giant','You get to this hole by saying CLIMB when in the Beanstalk Pit.','','','','4.61 Beanstalk pit','7.1 Giant room','','4.61 Beanstalk pit','','','','');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(7.1,'Giant room','Giant','Magic nest with golden eggs can be used to cheat the troll, magic','words "FEE FIE FOE FOO" pronounced individually.','7.2 huge N/S passage','7.0 hole above W pit','7.5 low ceiling room','','','','','','','');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(7.2,'huge N/S passage','Giant','Way north is barred by rusty iron door, use bottle with oil.','','7.3 Cavern','7.1 Giant room','','','','','','','','');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(7.3,'Cavern','Giant','Beautiful cataract into a whirlpool vanishes thru floor. There','is a Jewel-encrusted Trident here. Only lamp survives plunge.','','7.2 huge N/S passage','','7.4 incline','','9.0 Reservoir North','','','','');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(7.4,'incline','Giant','One-way slide down to the Low Room. This is a shortcut if you','use the fast words in Bedquilt.','7.3 Cavern','','','','','10.0 Low Room','','','','');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(7.5,'low ceiling room','Giant','rough room leads to the Sorcercer''s Lair sequence','','8.0 ogre room','7.1 Giant room','','','','','','','','');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(8,'ogre room','Sorcerer','You need the singing sword to defeat the ogre. Be careful!','Get the mithril ring, you''ll need it at the gorge. See NOTEBOOK.','8.1 Sorcerer''s Lair','7.5 low ceiling room','','','','','','','','');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(8.1,'Sorcerer''s Lair','Sorcerer','Magic word "NOSIDE SAMOHT" (read backwards) replenishes spent','batteries. Use with extreme caution! Note blue stalactite...?','','','8.2 bottomless pit n','8.0 ogre room','','','','','','');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(8.2,'bottomless pit north','Sorcerer','The bottomless pit seems as though it should be more interesting','than it apparently is. The thing really does seem bottomless.','8.1 Sorcerer''s Lair','','8.21 east of pit','8.22 south of pit','','','','','','');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(8.21,'bottomless pit east','Sorcerer','Another excrutiatingly dull sequence, except for the opals. Why','do the dwarves always show up right about now (unless Pirate)??','8.2 bottomless pit n','','','','','','','8.211 small crack','','');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(8.211,'small crack','Sorcerer','The path may describe looping letters here, not sure.','This section is not well-described in the Zorknotes. Use > and <','','','','','','','','','8.21 east of pit','8.212 continues');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(8.212,'slime passage','Sorcerer','The vial is useful here.','','','8.213 continues','','8.211 continues','','','','','','');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(8.213,'path continues','Sorcerer','dullness...?','','8.212','8.214 Opal room','','','','','','','','');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(8.214,'Opal room','Sorcerer','Room contains rare black opals on a shelf. Throwing opals to the','dwarves doesn''t work. Dwarf always show up unless Pirate active.','8.213','','','','','','','','','');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(8.22,'bottomless pit south','Sorcerer','Again, questions about the pit. This sequence leads to a magic','statue that may be (also) more than it appears.','8.2 bottomless pit n','','','','','','','','','8.221 Ice Room');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(8.221,'Ice Room, Slide','Sorcerer','There is a slide down to the network of icy tunnels. Magic word','discovered there returns you here. SLIDE is a place name.','','','','','','8.22200 Icy Tunnels','8.22 south of pit','','','');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(8.222,'Icy Tunnel','T.','This maze is quite a nice challenge! Magic crystalline sculpture','to be found here. You need a rare word from StarWell to get out.','*','8.22201','*','*','*','*','8.22207 this way','*','*','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(8.22201,'Icy Tunnel','T.','','','8.22200','8.22202','*','*','*','*','*','*','*','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(8.22202,'Icy Tunnel','T.','','','8.22201','*','8.22204','8.22203','*','*','*','*','*','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(8.22203,'Icy Tunnel','T.','','','8.22205','*','8.22202','*','*','*','*','*','*','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(8.22204,'Icy Tunnel','T.','','','8.22206','*','*','8.22202','*','*','*','*','*','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(8.22205,'Icy Tunnel','T.','','','*','8.22203','*','*','*','*','*','*','*','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(8.22206,'Icy Tunnel','T.','','','*','8.22204','*','*','*','*','*','*','*','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(8.22207,'Icy Tunnel','T.','','','*','*','8.22200','8.22208 this way','*','*','*','*','*','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(8.22208,'Icy Tunnel','H.','','','*','8.22209 this way','*','*','*','*','*','8.22207','*','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(8.22209,'Icy Tunnel','H.','','','8.22208','8.22210','*','8.22212 this way','*','*','*','*','*','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(8.2221,'Icy Tunnel','H.','','','8.22209','*','*','*','*','*','*','*','*','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(8.22211,'Icy Tunnel','H.','','','8.22212','*','*','*','*','*','*','*','*','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(8.22212,'Icy Tunnel','H.','','','8.22213 this way','8.22211','8.22209','*','*','*','*','*','*','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(8.22213,'Icy Tunnel','H.','','','*','8.22212','*','*','*','*','8.22214 this way','*','*','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(8.22214,'Icy Tunnel','H.','','','*','*','8.22213','8.22215 this way','*','*','*','*','*','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(8.22215,'Icy Tunnel','U.','','','*','8.22216','*','8.22220 this way','*','*','*','8.22214','*','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(8.22216,'Icy Tunnel','U.','','','8.22215','8.22217','*','*','*','*','*','*','*','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(8.22217,'Icy Tunnel','U.','','','8.22216','*','*','*','*','*','*','*','*','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(8.22218,'Icy Tunnel','U.','There is a crystalline sculpture here.','','8.22219','*','*','*','*','*','*','*','*','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(8.22219,'Icy Tunnel','U.','','','8.22220 this way','8.22218 crystal','*','*','*','*','*','*','*','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(8.2222,'Icy Tunnel','U.','','','*','8.22219 crystal','*','*','*','*','8.22221 this way','*','*','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(8.22221,'Icy Tunnel','U.','','','*','*','8.22220','8.22222 this way','*','*','*','*','*','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(8.22222,'Icy Tunnel','R.','','','*','8.22223 this way','*','*','*','*','*','8.22221','*','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(8.22223,'Icy Tunnel','R.','','','8.22222','8.22224','*','8.22226','*','*','8.22227 this way','*','*','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(8.22224,'Icy Tunnel','R.','','','8.22223','*','*','8.22225','*','*','*','*','*','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(8.22225,'Icy Tunnel','R.','','','8.22226','*','8.22224','*','*','*','*','*','*','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(8.22226,'Icy Tunnel','R.','','','*','8.22225','8.22223','*','*','*','*','*','*','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(8.22227,'Icy Tunnel','R.','','','*','*','*','*','*','*','8.22228 this way','*','*','8.22223');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(8.22228,'Icy Tunnel','R.','','','*','*','8.22227','8.22229 this way','*','*','*','*','*','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(8.22229,'Icy Tunnel','B.','','','*','8.22230','*','8.22235 this way','*','*','*','8.22228','*','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(8.2223,'Icy Tunnel','B.','','','8.22229','8.22231','*','*','*','*','8.22234','*','8.22233','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(8.22231,'Icy Tunnel','B.','','','8.22230','*','*','8.22232','*','*','*','*','*','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(8.22232,'Icy Tunnel','B.','','','8.22233','*','8.22231','*','*','*','*','*','*','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(8.22233,'Icy Tunnel','B.','','','*','8.22232','*','*','*','*','*','8.22230','*','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(8.22234,'Icy Tunnel','B.','','','8.22235','*','*','*','*','*','*','*','*','8.22230');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(8.22235,'Icy Tunnel','B.','','','*','8.22234','8.22229','*','*','*','8.22236 this way','*','*','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(8.22236,'Icy Tunnel','B.','There is a sign glowing in midair. It says "This way out."','A map of these tunnels spells out the magic word, "THURB".','*','*','8.22235 why go back?','*','*','*','*','*','*','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(9,'Reservoir North','Balcony','Gong and Darwin the Tortoise provide a ride south over water.','Get anything on S shore and say "back" to return to N shore (!)','9.1 Warm room','3.45 Reservoir South','','','','','','','','');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(9.1,'Warm room','Balcony','Is "warm" a hint, like "warm...warmer...HOT!" The gorge sequence','has a similar, but mysterious, hint, then.','9.11 Balcony','9.0 Reservoir North','','','','','','','','');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(9.11,'Balcony','Balcony','Turquoise beads here. Overlooks the Main Treasure Room, to which','there is an Alternate Entrance....SOMEWHERE!?? SEE Zorknote 12.0','*','*','*','9.1 Warm room','*','*','*','*','*','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(10,'Low Room','Chasm','Get here N from 4.32 Bedquilt, D from 7.4 Incline west of Cavern,','or W out of 6.0 Oriental Room. Kind of a major junction.','10.01 Dead End crawl','','','','','','','','10.1 sloping corridor','6.0 Oriental Room');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(10.01,'Dead End crawl','Chasm','Why is this dead end labeled a "crawl"?','','','10.0 Low Room','','','','','','','','');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(10.1,'sloping corridor','Chasm','only directions are up and down','','','','','','10.2 Chasm SW','10.0 Low Room','','','','');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(10.2,'Chasm SW','Chasm','Troll is here. Can be cheated once with the golden nest, don''t','try it twice! Bear will guard bridge on way back. CROSS works.','','','','','','','','10.3 Chasm NE','10.1 sloping corridor','');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(10.3,'Chasm NE','Chasm','Leave the bear here to guard bridge. Fast words now are FORK,','BARREN, VIEW. CROSS works to cross bridge.','','','10.4 corridor','','','','','','10.2 Chasm SW','');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(10.4,'corridor','Chasm','just a corridor','','','','10.5 Fork','10.3 Chasm NE','','','','','','');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(10.5,'Fork','Chasm','FORK is the fast midpoint this side of gorge.','','','10.51 limestone','','10.4 corridor','','','','10.6 warm corridor','','');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(10.51,'limestone corridor','Barren','Strange shapes along the path. I got the name for this place','from the old adventure, so the pup has some utility after all!','10.5 Fork','10.52 bear in room','','','10.5 Fork','10.52 bear in room','','','','');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(10.52,'"Bear in Room"','Barren','Entrance to the Barren Room. BARREN takes you here, not inside','the room.','10.51 limestone','','10.53 Barren Room','','','','','','','');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(10.53,'Barren Room','Barren','The Bear is here. Unlock the golden chain and get them both!','','','','','10.52 "bear in..."','','','','','','');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(10.6,'warm corridor','Volcano','just a corridor, but it''s Warm','','10.7 View','10.5 Fork','10.61 Boulder room','','','','','','','');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(10.61,'Boulder room','Volcano','Rare spices are here. VIEW is fast word. Boulder is the name of','this room, but not a fast word evidently. Why "hot", "stifling"?','','','','10.6 warm corridor','','','','','','');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(10.7,'Breath-taking View','Volcano','There is a bottomless pit in sight here. Suppose it''s the same','as at the Sorcerer''s?','10.8 Valley','10.6 warm corridor','','','','','','','','');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(10.8,'Valley South','Valley','Valley of Stone Faces. There is light here, save batteries.','','10.9 Valley North','10.7 View','','','','','','','','');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(10.9,'Valley North','Valley','Valley of Stone Faces, Statue of minotaur gazes at you, use magic','word found in Melenkurion Tool Room. This is almost TOO easy!','10.92 <> basilisk S','10.8 Valley South','*','*','*','*','10.91 <> foggy room','10.93 <> loopy passa','*','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(10.91,'foggy room S','Rubaiyat','Just about to enter the foggy room.','','10.911 Colored Fogs','10.9 Valley North','','','','','','','','');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(10.912,'Cairn','Rubaiyat','The rocks here glow in the dark.','(Turn off your lamp!)','10.911 Colored Fogs','10.911','10.911','10.911','*','10.913 Nondescript','10.911','10.911','10.911','10.911');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(10.913,'Nondescript chamber','Rubaiyat','Is the toy boat a broad hint to read Quatrains 49-50 of the','Rubaiyat? Why is the chamber nondescript?','10.914 Pentagram','','','10.912 Cairn','','','','','','');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(10.914,'Pentagram','Rubaiyat','Pentagram restrains the djinn. Advice about Ralph Witt, also on','dwarves...FYI, Solomon caught the djinn, no points to let him go!','10.915 Chimney','10.913 Nondescript','','','','','','','','');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(10.915,'Chimney','Rubaiyat','just a chimney, go up','','','','','','10.916 tube room','10.914 Pentagram','','','','');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(10.916,'tube','Rubaiyat','boring','','','10.917 slide','','','','10.915 chimney','','','','');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(10.917,'slide','Rubaiyat','one-way, take it','','10.916 tube','','','','','10.91 foggy room S','','','','');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(10.92,'basilisk S','Peelgrunt','A Basilisk is sleeping here in the ROUGH CORRIDOR.','','10.921 basilisk N','10.9 Valley North','','','','','','','','');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(10.921,'basilisk N','Peelgrunt','When approaching basilisk from the N, be sure to have the shiny','metal plate ready.','10.922 stairwell','10.92 basilisk S','','','','','','','','');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(10.922,'stairwell','Peelgrunt','entrance to very puzzling sequence!','','10.923 Peelgrunt Rm','10.921 basilisk N','','','','10.9221 stairs','','','','');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(10.9221,'stairs','Stairs','they go down','','','','','','10.922 stairwell','10.9222 landing','','','','');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(10.9222,'landing','Stairs','Eventually, you needs must go north!','','10.92221 Y2?','','','','10.9221 stairs','10.9223 storage room','','','','');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(10.92221,'Fake Y2','Catacombs','This is not Y2. Try using Plugh or Plover for a heady thrill.','See Zorknote 10.94','','10.9222 landing','10.92222 broken rock','11.00 catacombs','','','','','','');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(10.92222,'broken rock?','Catacombs','Not the wall of broken rock.','','','','','10.92221 Y2?','11.00 catacombs','10.92221 Y2?','','','','');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(10.9223,'Storage room','Stairs','Shiny metal plate is here, you''ll need it for the basilisk!','','','','','','10.9222 Landing','','','','','');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(10.923,'Peelgrunt room','Peelgrunt','Massive walk-in safe, Zorknote 14.0, but from the south. ','Only the skeleton of the Serpent King has the magic word. IN, OUT','','10.922 Stairwell','','','','','','','','');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(10.93,'looping passage','Djinn','There is something odd about the djinn''s advice and the shapes of','these rooms.','','','','','','','10.9 Valley North','10.931 Golden chamber','','');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(10.931,'Golden chamber','Djinn','This is an interesting pattern on a map, possibly the hips above two legs with feet?','','','10.93 looping passage','','','','','10.9311 Translucent','10.9312 Arabesque','','');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(10.9311,'Translucent chamber','Djinn','Ancient chinese jade bracelet here. Beware of gooseberry goblins on the way out, you''ll need the dragon teeth!','','','','10.931 Golden Chamber','','','','','','','');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(10.9312,'Arabesque room','Djinn','Earthenware flask containing "LONDON DRY" djinn (ugh!) is here.','Solomon bottled this fellow, you get no points for releasing him!','','10.931 Golden chamber','','','','','','','','');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(10.94,'Precarious Chair','Volcano','This is where you end up when you use the magic words at the fake Y2 in the Catacombs -- suspended in midair over Volcano Gorge!','','*','*','*','*','*','<> Volcano gorge','*','*','*','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(11,'Enchanted Tunnel','Catacombs','You are in the catacombs. Enchanted tunnels lead in *ALL* directions.','','*','11.01 this way','*','*','*','*','*','*','*','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(11.01,'Enchanted Tunnel','Catacombs','You are in the catacombs. Enchanted tunnels lead in *ALL* directions.','','11.00','11.00','11.00','11.00','11.00','11.00','11.00','11.00','11.02 this way','11.00');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(11.02,'Enchanted Tunnel','Catacombs','You are in the catacombs. Enchanted tunnels lead in *ALL* directions.','','11.01','11.01','11.01','11.01','11.01','11.01','11.03 this way','11.01','11.01','11.01');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(11.03,'Enchanted Tunnel','Catacombs','You are in the catacombs. Enchanted tunnels lead in *ALL* directions.','','11.02','11.04 this way','11.02','11.02','11.02','11.02','11.02','11.02','11.02','11.02');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(11.04,'Enchanted Tunnel','Catacombs','You are in the catacombs. Enchanted tunnels lead in *ALL* directions.','','11.03','11.03','11.03','11.03','11.03','11.05 this way','11.03','11.03','11.03','11.03');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(11.05,'Enchanted Tunnel','Catacombs','You are in the catacombs. Enchanted tunnels lead in *ALL* directions.','','11.04','11.04','11.04','11.06 this way','11.04','11.04','11.04','11.04','11.04','11.04');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(11.06,'Enchanted Tunnel','Catacombs','You are in the catacombs. Enchanted tunnels lead in *ALL* directions.','','11.05','11.05','11.05','11.05','11.05','11.05','11.07 this way','11.05','11.05','11.05');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(11.07,'Enchanted Tunnel','Catacombs','You are in the catacombs. Enchanted tunnels lead in *ALL* directions.','','11.08 this way','11.06','11.06','11.06','11.06','11.06','11.06','11.06','11.06','11.06');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(11.08,'Enchanted Tunnel','Catacombs','You are in the catacombs. Enchanted tunnels lead in *ALL* directions.','','11.07','11.09 this way','11.07','11.07','11.07','11.07','11.07','11.07','11.07','11.07');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(11.09,'Enchanted Tunnel','Catacombs','You are in the catacombs. Enchanted tunnels lead in *ALL* directions.','','11.10 this way','11.08','11.08','11.08','11.08','11.08','11.08','11.08','11.08','11.08');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(11.1,'Enchanted Tunnel','Catacombs','You are in the catacombs. Enchanted tunnels lead in *ALL* directions.','','11.09','11.09','11.101 Audience Hall','11.09','11.09','11.09','11.09','11.09','11.11 this way','11.09');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(11.101,'Audience Chamber','Catacombs','It is safe to turn off the lamp here, there is light.','','*','*','11.102 Throne Room','11.10 Enchanted tunnels','*','*','*','*','*','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(11.102,'Throne Room','Catacombs','The skeleton of the Serpent King is here. Get the SCEPTRE and a MAGIC WORD, which is different for every game.','The magic word is used to open the safe found in the Peelgrunt room and in the Vault.','*','*','*','11.101 Audience Chamber','*','*','*','*','*','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(11.11,'Enchanted Tunnel','Catacombs','You are in the catacombs. Enchanted tunnels lead in *ALL* directions.','','11.10','11.10','11.12 this way','11.10','11.10','11.10','11.10','11.10','11.10','11.10');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(11.12,'Enchanted Tunnel','Catacombs','You are in the catacombs. Enchanted tunnels lead in *ALL* directions.','','11.11','11.11','11.11','11.11','11.11','11.11','11.11','11.11','11.11','11.13 this way');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(11.13,'Enchanted Tunnel','Catacombs','You are in the catacombs. Enchanted tunnels lead in *ALL* directions.','','11.12','11.12','11.12','11.12','11.12','11.12','11.12','11.14 this way','11.12','11.12');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(11.14,'Enchanted Tunnel','Catacombs','You are in the catacombs. Enchanted tunnels lead in *ALL* directions.','','11.13','11.13','11.15 this way','11.13','11.13','11.13','11.13','11.13','11.13','11.13');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(11.15,'Enchanted Tunnel','Catacombs','You are in the catacombs. Enchanted tunnels lead in *ALL* directions.','','11.14','11.14','11.14','11.14','11.14','11.14','11.14','11.14','11.14','11.16 this way');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(11.16,'Enchanted Tunnel','Catacombs','You are in the catacombs. Enchanted tunnels lead in *ALL* directions.','','11.15','11.15','11.15','11.15','11.15','11.17 this way','11.15','11.15','11.15','11.15');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(11.17,'Enchanted Tunnel','Catacombs','You are in the catacombs. Enchanted tunnels lead in *ALL* directions.','.','11.16','11.18 this way','11.16','11.16','11.16','11.16','11.16','11.16','11.16','11.16');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(11.18,'Enchanted Tunnel','Catacombs','You are in the catacombs. Enchanted tunnels lead in *ALL*','directions.','10.92221 this way out','11.17','11.17','11.17','11.17','11.17','11.17','11.17','11.17','11.17');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(12,'Treasure room','Sine Qua Non','Room seen from Balcony. When you finally locate this place, you','will understand why your treasures vanish when the cavern closes.','The directions are','irrelevant once you','get here. This is','The End, nowhere','13.41 (presumably)','','to.','else is worth going','','');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(13.4,'Gully','Sine Qua Non','Onward!','','','13.41 slit','','','','13.41 slit','','','','');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(13.41,'Slit, 2-foot','Sine Qua Non','This is NOT the alternate entrance. It IS an entrance.','','13.4 gully','','','','','12.0 Treasure Room','','','','');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(14,'Safe','Vault','Use IN, OUT to enter or leave the safe. CLOSE SAFE when done.','Enter from Vault (3.35) or Peelgrunt (10.923) Beware!!','*','*','*','*','*','*','*','*','*','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(15,'Computer Center S','Computer Center','You are standing at the southern end of a long hall in what appears to be a computer center. The entire hall is lit by four rows of fluorescent lightbulbs. There are numerous bulletin boards, all filled with various messages of one sort or another. The rest of the wall space is filled by a large collection of computer generated posters, ranging in size from a two foot square picture of a cat to a twenty foot long 360 degree view of Mars taken from the Viking lander. The computer center extends northward from here, and there is a small passage to the south.','You can take down the (very interesting) posters, one by one, but be careful. If you tear a corner, the resulting fireball will kill you. Not that it matters, because those alarm gongs you heard mean you''re dead anyway. You''ll understand when Rover eventually arrives. Just keep repeating, "I am not a number!" Not that that will do any good.','15.1 Computer Center North','4.211 Witt''s End','*','*','*','*','*','*','*','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(15.1,'Computer Center N','Computer Center','You are at the northern end of the computer center. There are more bulletin boards and posters covering the walls, and a large sign on the wall reading, "RALPH WITT MEMORIAL COMPUTER CENTER." Below that there is a considerably smaller sign saying, "security area - access by authorized personel only." On the north wall there is a little box with a slot in it set into the wall about four feet from the floor. To your left is an elevator, and next to it there is a green button, obviously used to call the elevator. The elevator doors are shut.','Beware of disturbing the posters. Rover will come. Also, an old caretaker will come and hang an out of order sign on the elevator.','15.2 [If you drop the card:] You carefully insert the ID card into the slot in the box, which begins to emit a high pitched beeping sound for several seconds. All of a sudden, one section of the wall slides away, revealing another room to the north.','15.0 Computer Center South','*','*','0.11 [If you push the button and ENTER ELEVATOR:] The doors close behind you as you enter, and the elevator immediately starts to go up quite rapidly. After a while the acceleration lessens, but you continue going upwards for what seems like a very long time. Finally the elevator starts to slow down (incidently doing nasty things to your stomach), and eventually grinds to a stop. Bright light floods into the elevator as the doors open. Bedazzled by the bright light, you stumble out of the elevator as your eyes try to adjust. After a second or two, you hear a small ''swoosh'' behind you, and, as you turn around, you realize that not only have the elevator''s doors closed, but they have vanished altogether! You''re inside building.','*','*','*','*','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(15.2,'Computer Room','Computer Center','You are standing in an air conditioned room with a raised floor. Filling most of the room is a LARGE computer with LOTS of blinking lights. There is a display screen mounted in one section of the computer. There appears to be only one control or switch of any sort on the machine, that being a big red buttoned [sic] marked "EMERGENCY STOP - Do not push!"','Taped to the front of the computer is an 8-inch floppy disk.Scrawled on the the disk''s label in a nearly illegible handwriting are the words "Adventure Source Files".','*','15.1 Computer Center North','*','*','*','15.3 [If you open the floor:] With the aid of the suction cups, you manage to pull up some of the panels on the floor. Below the floor there is a small air duct leading down and to the west. It looks like a tight fit, but I think you''ll make it.','*','*','*','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(15.3,'Air Duct','Computer Center','You are in an air duct running from east to west. There is a brightly lit room at the eastern end of the air duct.','','*','*','15.2 Computer Room','15.4 S-shaped tunnel','15.2 Computer Room','*','*','*','*','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(15.4,'S-shaped Tunnel','Computer Center','You are in an S-shaped tunnel. The tunnel starts at the northeast, where there is a rectangular opening in the wall, and continues to the southwest, from which a dull rumbling can be heard.','','*','*','*','*','*','*','*','15.3 Air duct','15.5 Volcanic Rift','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(15.5,'Volcanic Rift','Computer Center','You are standing on the eastern edge of a HUGE volcanic rift. Almost a mile away on the other side, and maybe a hundred feet above you, is another passage. Far to the north is an active volcano, the source of the lava flowing far below. Carved into the wall, as if with a pen-knife, are the words "THGIRW RUBLIW". ','This is the same Volcanic Rift valley as seen from the Troll''s View. Don''t use the Black Rod here!! Drop everything, including the lamp, and use the magic words to make the Dragon''s persian rug levitate. Then RIDE across the Volcanic Rift to the Study (16.0) on the other side.','*','*','15.4 S-shaped tunnel','[If you try to go W:] I''m game. Would you care to explain how?','*','[If you try to go D:] Aaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeee........ >splat< Hmmmm - I never saw a red flapjack before!','*','*','*','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(16,'Western Ledge','Study','You climb onto the rug which gently starts to float across the rift. You slowly rise up to the level of the ledge on the western side of the rift. The rug loops around once or twice, and then gently deposits you on the western side of the rift.','You are on the western edge of the volcanic rift. A passage continues up and west from here. There is a persian rug floating in mid air!','*','*','[If you RIDE:] You climb aboard the rug, which gently carries you back across the rift (15.5).','16.1 Paneled Passage','16.1 Paneled Passage','*','*','*','*','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(16.1,'Paneled Passage','Study','You are in a long sloping passage. The walls are covered with fine redwood paneling. From the east comes a dim light and a dull rumbling noise.','','*','*','16.0 Western Ledge','16.2 Study','16.2 Study','16.0 Western Ledge','*','*','*','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(16.2,'The Redwood Study','Study','You are in an elaboratly [sic] furnished study. There is a magnificent redwood desk in the center of the room. The room is lit by several desk lamps scattered about the room. ','Resting on the desk are several priceless rare stamps!','*','*','16.1 Paneled passage','*','*','*','*','*','*','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(17,'Stalactite','Secret Upper Canyon','The stalactite leads down into random locations in the Pirate''s','Maze. There is an analogy with shadows in the Sorcerer''s Lair.','17.1 Upper canyon','','','','','<> Pirate''s Maze','','','','');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(17.1,'Upper canyon','Secret Upper Canyon','','','17.2 Three-Canyons','17.0 Stalactite','','','','4.3 Bedquilt','','','','');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(17.2,'3-Canyon Junction','Secret Upper Canyon','','','17.3 Window West','17.1 Upper Canyon','','','','','','','','4.3 Bedquilt');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(17.3,'West Window','Secret Upper Canyon','This is the West Window as seen from Mirror Canyon (3.44), same','level as the East Window (3.01), which is on the same level as Y2','','','','17.2 Three-Canyon','','','','','','');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(18,'Tight N/S Passage','Tall Canyon','Drop into this passage from Secret Canyon just east of dragon.','','18.1 Tall E/W Canyon','* Too narrow canyon','*','*','*','*','*','*','*','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(18.1,'Tall E/W Canyon','Bedquilt','Shortcut from Secret Canyon to Bedquilt, if nothing else.','','4.4 Swiss Cheese Rm','*','18.0 Tight N/S pass','18.2 boulders','*','*','*','*','*','*');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(18.2,'boulders','Tall Canyon','This is a dead end with the words "Jerry Cornelious was here"','scratched on a boulder.','','18.1 Tall E/W Canyon','','','','','','','','');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(-100,'Random Encounters','Ephemerae','There are faint rustling noises from the darkness behind you. ','There are faint rustling noises from the darkness behind you. As you turn toward them, the beam of your lamp falls across a bearded pirate. He is carrying a large chest. "Shiver me timbers!" he cries. "I''ve been spotted! I''d best hie meself off to the maze to hide me chest!" With that, he vanishes into the gloom.','Out from the shadows behinds you pounces a bearded pirate! "Har, har," he chortles, "I''ll just take all this booty and hide it away with me chest deep in the maze!" He snatches your treasure and vanishes into the gloom.','From somewhere in the distance, there comes a musical swirl of light, elvish laughter and the sounds of merriment.','With a sudden gust of air, a large cave bat flutters into view, flies around your head several times, squeaks with disgust, and flutters on out of sight. ','From somewhere nearby, there suddenly comes a sound of something mechanical in motion. As you turn towards it, an incredible figure rolls into the light of your lamp. It stands about five feet high on a wheeled metal pedestal, and has a globular light-filled head, accordion-pleated metal arms, and a cylindrical body the size of an oil drum with a plastic panel on the front. It rolls past without taking any notice of you, all the while waving its arms, flashing a light behind its front panel and bellowing "WARNING! WARNING! DANGER!" at the top of its not inconsiderable voice. It rolls on out of sight, and moments later there is an immense flash of light and a tremendous blast of sparks and smoke. When the air clears, you find that no trace remains of the strange apparition.','','','[For comparison, here is the original (?) version from David Platt''s ADV550.] From somewhere nearby come the sounds of sliding, stumbling feet. As you turn towards them, the beam of your lamp falls upon a tall, shambling figure approaching you out of the darkness. Standing no more than five feet tall, it cannot possibly weigh more than fifty pounds including the shroud and bandages in which it is wrapped; a musty reek like the scent of old, dead earth seeps from it and fills the air. As you cower back in disgust and horror, the figure halts, examines you through eyes resembling wet pebbles, and whispers "Peace, man!" in a voice like wind rustling through dead trees. It then turns and shambles away into the darkness.','From the darkness nearby comes the sound of shuffling feet. As you turn towards the sound, a nine-foot cyclops ambles into the light of your lamp. The cyclops is dressed in a three-piece suit of worsted wool, and is wearing a black silk top-hat and cowboy boots and is carrying an ebony walking-stick. It catches sight of you and stops, seeming frozen in its tracks, with its bloodshot eye bulging in amazement and its fang-filled jaw drooping with shock. After staring at you in incredulous disbelief for a few moments, it reaches into the pocket of its vest and pulls out a small plastic bag filled with a leafy green substance, and examines it carefully. "It must be worth eighty pazools an ounce after all" mumbles the cyclops, who casts one final look at you, shudders, and staggers away out of sight.','','');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(0.21,'More Forest','Forest','You are in open forest, with a deep valley to one side.','Same as last time?','0.1 End of Road','?','?','?','?','?','?','?','?','?');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(10.911,'Colored Fogs','Rubaiyat','Wander around the room filled with strange multi-colored fogs.','Then turn off the lamp and advance toward the glow in the distance.','10.912 sometimes','10.912 "','10.912 "','10.912 "','10.912 "','10.912 "','10.912 "','10.912 "','10.912 "','10.912 "');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(13,'"The Tin Can"','Sine Qua Non','This is the room you wind up in when the cave closes! You can''t get out unless you say all the magic words in descending alphabetical order — backwards, from Z to A.','Note that this means you''ll have to know all the magic words the Serpent King knows — learned in many games! Hardly fair, is it?','','zorton, xyzzy, thurb, thgirw, snoeze, samoht, rubliw, plugh, plover, phuggg, noside, melenkurion, knerl, klaetu, foo, foe, fie, fee, blerbi ... is that all?','13.1 ... AFTER saying all the magic words in reverse order, please!','','','Adventure 4 lacks the Wilbur Wright words for the persian rug.','','Most of the older versions of Adventure ended by discovering a room full of sleeping dwarves after the caverns close, then setting off dynamite and blasting a way into the Treasure Room.','','');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(0,'Colossal Cave','TITLE CARD','Notes (by Dave Oshel, September 16, 1984) for the Mike Goetz B03 edition of "new" CP/M Adventure, SIGM011.

','Adventure is also known as "Colossal Cave" and was written at Bolt, Beranek, & Newman, Inc. (ARPANET) by Will Crowther and Don Woods, ca. 1975. This version has a total of 580 points.

This archive was originally a dBase II dbf file with fixed length character fields, but it has since been ported to PostgreSQL, to MySQL, then PostgreSQL again (and from ASCII to ANSI to UTF-8), and now to the free form SQLite 3. Heh, some glyphic artifacts may have crept in over the years.','','0.1 Start at End of Road, please.','','','','','','','','');
INSERT INTO "adv" VALUES(13.1,'End of the Road','Sine Qua Non','Ah, you made it! Well, this is the end of the road for you.','','(13.3?)','13.4 gully','(13.3?)','(13.5?) up hill','','13.4 gully','','','','');

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Friday, August 21, 2009

"Blood libel"

Apparently, Israel is furious with a Swedish tabloid, Aftonbladet, because it ran a story (with inconvenient photos) that Israeli soldiers have been literally carving up Palestinian kids and selling their organs on the black market (with a tie-in to the FBI arrest of a kidney-trafficking rabbi from Brooklyn last month) since at least 1992. The Israelis consider this a "blood libel" and I have to admit, it does sound about as farfetched as 1930's radioland mystery theater.

On the other hand, carving up Palestine and selling West Bank real estate to Israeli settlement developers is just business as usual, so — "Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men?"

What? You can't read Swedish? Shame on you! (Try Google's Language Tools.)

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Thursday, August 20, 2009

Speaking of death panels...

Why is it that so much pop culture involves dragging innocent bystanders along into someone else's sewer?

I remember back in the Seventies listening to a self-anointed "poet" arguing that murder was the most intimate experience possible, and wouldn't that be fun? It was like strolling through the Sacco & Vanzetti Echo Chamber at the Jack Kerouac Sealab Delicatessen, where a cigarette is a glass of 2%.

Maybe that was the year Squeakie Fromme was in. And now she's out. Seems almost sane, by comparison.

And speaking of non sequiturs, has anyone else noticed that Rachel Maddow's show on MSNBC is a Cialis-free zone†? I kind of miss the bizarre sitting-in-parallel-bathtubs fantasy‡, whatever that means.

Except on the half hour...

I'm not familiar with the gin
those lords and ladies soak in;
But separate tubs of separate sins
just separate nights betoken.


Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Death Panels

Chuck Grassley is vulnerable in 2010

Here in Iowa, Chuck Grassley's senatorial career owes its life to Independents and Democratics who cross party lines to vote for him.

He was popular for crusading against waste in areas of the federal budget sacrosanct to Eisenhower's Military-Industrial-Congressional complex. He was not so popular for his bankruptcy law hatchet-wielding.

And now, as he sheds his health reform sheepskin and exposes the two-timing mange hiding beneath, he's lost all support from Iowa Democrats and ticked off most of Iowa's Independents.

That makes Chuck Grassley a seeming martyr to his causes, whatever they are, because he shouldn't be re-electable in 2010. In fact, Grassley has millions stashed away for the 2010 campaign. He'll probably weather the storm fairly easily, while welcoming a fullscale DSCC onslaught as a way to bleed Democratic warchests dry.

Which isn't to say a stealth Democrat from Iowa can't bump him off, especially one with Blue Dog credentials. Tom Harkin did it to U.S. Rep. Bill Scherle in 1974. It can happen again. Meanwhile, check out for relatively up-to-date Iowa Democratic news, especially rumors and rumbles about Grassley's likely (or not-so-likely) opponents.


Here's a letter I got from Tom Fiegen, who seems to be emerging from the fog as Iowa's Democratic candidate against Grassley next Fall. There's a primary, of course, but barring the unexpected, I'll probably vote for Fiegen:

My view is that the 2005 bankruptcy bill did nothing good. It was a Christmas tree for the credit card and lease companies. And yes, it did throw consumers and small businesses to the wolves.

On the campaign trail, I talk about the people who walk into my office with financial problems and their stories. It is like a doctor talking about the patients he sees and why he supports universal health care because of those experiences. A lot of my friends in the credit industry tell me that they love me like a brother, but when they see a piece of mail from my firm, they take a deep breath. Financial problems are never fun. But, having counseled people with financial problems for 21 years, I have a unique insight into how budgets, small businesses, farms and the economy work. To paraphrase Bill Clinton, "I feel their pain."

Obviously, I think I'm the guy to be Iowa's next U.S. Senator. Ultimately, three million Iowans, or the million plus who vote, will decide.

Tom Fiegen

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Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Robert Novak obit

Überconservative hatchet boy Robert Novak is dead. He outed an active-duty CIA operative, Valerie Plame, exposing her extensive list of overseas contacts to reprisal or assassination. That's treason. Bob "The Zombie" Novak expired of arguably natural causes (i.e., "brain tumor") while awaiting arrest and trial.


Self-calibrating Scale

Push is one my favorites, a cult classic, although I suspect my "cult" has fewer than three members.

The only bad thing about this nanoöpus is that it sets up a little "Yes I can, No you can't" acting contest between Camilla Belle (Kira) and Dakota Fanning (Cassie), which the kid wins hands down. It also has some of the best Hong Kong scenery since Ghost in the Shell.

What can I say? I've always been a sucker for good Ψonics. I even like X-Men, although not as much as I like this one. I hope Fanning and "Miss Trouble" come back for the sequel. It's time to rescue Mom.

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Monday, August 17, 2009

Ponyo Redux

Not to change the subject, but has anyone else noticed that Ponyo in her "goldfish" stage is drawn like a used condom? That is an intensely weird movie.

Miyazaki always affects inability to draw certain things; in Spirited Away, it was birds, which he drew like sock puppets. This from the guy who can draw every rivet on an Austro-Hungarian Hansa-Brandenburg CC! Goldfish may not be easy to draw — Walt Kelly, a Disney artist at the time, once remarked that there's a natural hoochie-coochie motion to a goldfish — but Miyazaki, one suspects, won't draw a goldfish, for the same reason he draws his ocean waves as squirts. With eyes. It's personal. It's private. Don't ask!

And Ponyo's second phase...? What kind of little girl has chicken legs? A young Baba Yaga? A witch-in-training, wise beyond her tender years? Dare we suggest, even, the disposable kind, like the gnawed-up bones in a Colonel Sanders box? Are we so sure, as Roger Ebert opines, that the biology of Ponyo is "wisely" unexplained? Maybe it's just cultural, part of that inexplicable Japanese GothLoli varicosity that bulges up everywhere, almost, by sheer prevalence, innocently.

This time around, in any case, Hayao Miyazaki is not so much Hans Christian Andersen as Lewis Carroll, and like the good Reverend Dodgson, maybe he got some 'splaining to do. Like Susano'o-no-Mikoto, Miyazaki has now flung one too many flayed ponies at the Muse's loom.

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Moot Points

I still say "town hall" meetings are a bad idea. They're obviously related to allthings, or entmoots, or something — but the blithe assumption that a majority of votes at a "town hall" will carry anybody's day is absurd, except, obviously, somewhere in New England where the Town Meeting actually is a form of non-representative self-government (non-representative because each participant represents only themselves.)

What seems abundantly clear is that the blithering idiots who attend such meetings with the intent to disrupt and shout down and occupy time haven't got the foggiest idea how their democracy actually works, or the finer points of being gulled into pawnship.

Actually, "town hall meetings" are an old bit of coy political theater intended to give voters the illusion of participatory democracy (especially on the local 10 o'clock news), when in fact nothing of the sort is happening. I give full marks to the disrupters on this point — by which I mean, of course, the right wing health insurance fascisti who dreamed this tactic up. As a way of calling bluffs and exposing a deep and drowsy seam of meaningless political chaff for what it is, masterfully done.

The question arises, why aren't these things run like old-time Iowa caucuses? The whole idea of a caucus, for years on end, was to prevent public participation in party business. In the old days, county chairmen refused to advertise the caucus calendar altogether; if you didn't already know it was happening, you didn't need to know.

Unfortunately, the ambush fol-de-rol takes time away from actual policy building, and Americans need public option, single payer health reform immediately. Shame on Harkin, Loebsack, et al, for allowing themselves to be snookered at a game about as complicated as Go Fish.

Focus, maroons!


Saturday, August 15, 2009

Reality Is My Screensaver

Wups! I found myself brooding on the meaning of life and happenstance in Room 31-26 on the orthopedic ward at Mercy Hospital last Monday. Some kind of inflamed crisis in my swollen diabetic leg. Just got out yesterday afternoon.

Thursday morning, I found myself waking up a bit disoriented after a few hours of interrupted sleep (the night nurses at Mercy are beautiful and kind, but oh so duty-bound.) I'd misplaced my screensaver. (Screensaver?)

There was a setting I could use to get it back, but I couldn't remember where the options dialog was, since it only works in Linux. Darndest thing. I brooded on this, on the edge of a non-urgent panic, then I realized that my screensaver was reality. Reality! Fantastiches!

Then I woke up.


Sunday, August 09, 2009

Musical Cheers

A Midsummmer Night's Dream, except that the actors wear signs instead of costumes — Theseus, Demetrius, Hippolita, Lysander, Hermia, Helena, Titania, Oberon, et al. — which at intervals all the players exchange and continue uninterrupted in new roles regardless of age, gender, gravitas or suitability. Every player must study every role and deliver up each role–in–hand letter perfect & comedy optional.

If that doesn't work, consider the source of this odd remark.


Saturday, August 08, 2009

Po' White Trash

Ok, so the Po' White Trash is acting up in Town Hall meetings, forcing U.S. Representatives to curtail needed face time with constituents — occasionally requiring police escorts to leave the bear pit unscathed.

Town Hall meetings? What genius thought that up? The concept is fatuous on its face, much style with little substance. You can get better results with direct mail or television ads, but of course ginning up some kind of Local Gathering to get free publicity out of small town journalism is great, too.

Last century, journalists like H. L. Mencken, Ambrose Bierce and Mark Twain (less viciously, maybe, but certainly funnier) made livings from castigating The Great Unwashed. Twain's is the skew I prefer, actually. Common folks tend to exhibit uncommon wisdom when they're not behaving like lynch mobs, so there are a few better angels out there to wrestle with.

Of course, the insurance and pharmaceutical fat cats who are fomenting the extra-extra dissention have completely missed one of the great lessons of legislative cohesion — the fact that backlash from people who have the power to make laws tends to sting quite a bit when the leather flicks your wobbly backside.

I remember one telemarketing lobbyist who angrily lectured a Congresswoman on NPR (as I remember it) about "freedom of speech" and the sacrosanct right of telemarketers to call anybody anytime, and screw you. She was slightly nonplussed, but polite. Within four hours, Congress had outlawed the fool's entire industry with a bit of legislation called the National Do Not Call List. There was no fanfare. The axe simply fell.