Has John McCain really stopped beating his wife?

My theory is, that as a maverick former Navy pilot who may or may not have been addicted to popping speed just prior to getting shot down over Vietnam (frankly S.O.P. among Navy pilots, with designer amphetamines actually prescribed by Navy doctors to "reduce fatique under combat conditions"), McCain's notorious royal rages might actually be all too easy to explain. Why would Cindy McCain put up with visible bruising, though? I mean, with her billions, and all? It must be ruv.

On an entirely unrelated topic, it's good to know that John McCain would never associate himself with, or benefit from, such a sleazeball chamberpot of slimy lies as Obama Nation^† — yuck, yuck, "abomination," get it? Now that's a kneecapper!!!

†_{Alleged popularity inflated by massive bulk buys by the author and a few of his so-called "business associates", according to the New York Times. My guess is, they'll be using all that rag paper under the boilers at Anheuser-Busch, so it's not a total loss.}