Saturday, June 05, 2010

Irish Gaza Humanitarian Aid

"We categorically deny the spurious and offensive accusation that our admirable self-restraint this morning, despite severe provocation, amounts to mere 'halo polishing!' The outlaw vessel MV Rachel Corrie has been legally seized on our own high seas and docked at Ashdod, where it will be unloaded and inspected for contraband, but as the world can plainly see, no one is dead this time! The denizen dogs of Gaza will receive their allegedly 'humanitarian' aid in due course." — Damon Zoss†

My apologies to Damon Zoss or any other Farengi who might have been offended by this tactless and irresponsible satire. It goes without saying, and is in fact flatulently obvious, that the Farengi Rules of Acquisition forbid restraint of trade of any kind, including the inconceivably profitless military blockade against 1.5 million civilians in Gaza who desperately require Walmarts. Fair market value for the goods detained will be determined, as customary, by auction.

[Update, 10 June 10] Hamas can be counted upon to abrade a moral victory on the #10 grit of their own principles. Today, we learn, Hamas rejected "snack foods" in the humanitarian aid finally delivered by the Israelis. It's not clear whether that's a comment on halal (approximately, "kosher") foods only, or whether the IDF slipped a case of Twinkies into the shipment to foul the purity of intent. It makes no sense that Irish blockade runners would deliberately offend strict Muslim food rules, any more than they'd send a nice ham to Benjamin Netanyahu for Christmas.



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