Saturday, October 06, 2007

Clinton Revolts

I'm a former Democrat, so almost by definition, I lean left. Not as left as was my wont, mind you, but gauche-ward. Unfortunately, I share the nearly universal Republican grue that makes Hillary Clinton anathema to right-thinking political wonks anywhere.

For example: It's not that Hillary wants to take the right-wing political agenda out of science, it's that her cantilevered prose means STEM CELL RESEARCH WILL BE OK. Stem cell research? Ok? Fine by me. But translating Hillary-speak from gibbering generalities (the stuff used to glitter, I know) into plain speaking reveals the lengths she's gone to avoid offending anyone while smuggling controversy under cloak of glint.

Hillary, like Bill, can't say a word without making skeptical listeners don the rubber glove and breathe a little warmth onto the speculum. The woman smuggles, and gives smuggling a bad name while she's doing it.

Any real commie pinko socialist hack knows how to say "Charles Darwin Rules the Schools!" proudly, like he or she means it. None of yer onion rings, Hillary! If you want to get elected in November, put your cards on the table.

I'm still leaning towards Joe Biden or Bill Richardson. But those are some choices — the anti-Scarecrow whose already got well-above-average brains, or the anti-Tinman, whose solid gold innards are covered o'er with common zinc. I'd believe Hillary is the anti-Dorothy, were she not wearing curly socks above those ruby slippers.



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