Sunday, September 23, 2007

Washington Hillbillies

No matter which Clinton you elect, don't you just know in your heart of hearts you'll get stuck with The Bill?

Hillary never seems to advance an argument, or explore an idea beyond ankle deep. After all, it's politics — all she really needs is your vote, not your understanding or reasoned acquiescence. Which sort of begs the question, once she's got the presidency, will she know what to do with it?

She's already said that on January 20th, 2009, her first act as President (if elected) will be to empanel a grand jury, or something of that sort, to look into what George W. Bush and his cronies have been up to the last eight years. Gee, lady, could you unpack that a bit, and lay out what it means? Why does a President want to be Attorney General?

Bear in mind that Hillary is not superb at coalition building: Her health care plan in the first few months of Bill's presidensity was fraught with miscalculations, cluelessness and missteps, a curious sort of vacuum into which rushed disarray, retreat and the kind of merciless silence that makes well-deserved second helpings of rue all too possible. This time, though, she says it'll all be different. This time, she'll fight those special interests.

Lyndon Johnson never "fought" a "special interest" in his life, especially not when it was standing in his way. He jawboned it to death. And frankly, Hillary is not a good jawboner. She can't talk down from anybody else's level. She's not charismatic. She's utterly incapable of spontaneous good humor. She tells a joke like it was a Jack-in-the-Box — her smile telegraphs surprise like Gomer Pyle, and her eyes get really, really wide just before the last... wait for it... quarter... here it comes... crank. Ann Richards she ain't.

No thanks. I want Joe Biden leading us out of this war.



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