Chic Flic

Disney's latest ooze over Reverend Dodgson's Alice in Wonderland & Through the Looking-Glass property values turns out to be a Gyne-o-Dyne^®™ chick empowerment flick starring Alice in the role of Jean d'Arc. Relevant continuities were plundered from Sir John Tenniel's Jabberwocky plate, not filched whole cloth from Lewis Carroll.

Lots of anxious, pre-apocalyptic weirdness, in keeping with the mood of the Twilight generation, but entertainly done. I'd still ding Disneyville for having the effrontery to typecast its shiniest new acquisition, C. S. Lewis' gallant firebrand mouse Reepicheep, in the role of Carroll's famously hibernating rodent, the Dormouse, so it's 2¾ stars at best. The 9-year-old girl four seats down from us shrieked with laughter at J. Depp's hysterical Hatter scenes — most appropriate. (Although, truth be told, the Hatter's high-strung wackyfoot victory dance á la pinocchio at the end looked more like post-traumatic stress disorder than a St. Vitus humoresque.)

If Disney touched his nose fleetingly toward two hugely rewarding future conquests — Dame Rowling's Hogwarts empire (currently on display at Universal Orlando, so she can be bought), and all of China — such subliminal foreshadowings are lost on most Americans who will never believe they're in the film.