Sunday, June 08, 2008

Republican Talking Points

1. Barak Obama should spend days on end beating his brains out in unwinnable states such as West Virginia.

2. Hillary Clinton's delegates will change their minds in the next couple of months and launch a "Draft Hillary" campaign, when it becomes obvious that Barak Obama is a rank beginner at (*caff*) Hardball Politics.

3. It is vitally important that Barak Obama should engage John McCain in weeks of Town Hall meetings in rural settings throughout America, to establish Barak's credentials as a legitimate candidate with the stature to run opposite a genuine war hero.

4. Etc.

You can already hear this kind of bilge on nutjob rightwing radio. Everyone wants to micromanage Barak's campaign "for his own good."

Actually, Barak can just ignore McCain. McCain's a dyspeptic, angry old man with a short fuse who's been unable to hide a few obvious senior moments already. When he's got himself under control, he's got the most intensely boring speaking style since Al Gore. Barak can probably afford to give him three or four national debates on the major networks, but common decency should shield McCain from too much public scrutiny of his drooling habits, metaphorically speaking.

As for war hero, I suppose. Most of his medals seem to have been won for being shot down and enduring five years in the Hanoi Hilton. That sort of thing takes a toll. Let's hope McCain, who is after all a senior, is up to the kind of minute scrutiny and pressure he'll get in an American Presidential campaign.

I've heard from some who should know that that kind of race, so similar to post-traumatic stress syndrome in its effects, can change a candidate's body chemistry — sweat takes on an acrid ketone odor. Can an old-fashioned fighter pilot accustomed to taking "Air Force prescription" goofballs avoid the quick fix, even during televised late-October national debates when every twitch, pause and nuance matters?

McCain, the maverick who graduated 5th from the bottom of his class at Annapolis, has nevertheless every reason to feel overconfident. He doesn't need Bennie Goodman anymore. He'll be just fine.



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