Speaking of dimwits...

Just as Republicans have been watching twinkle-eyed by their own soaring prospects if either Clinton or Obama gets the Democratic nomination, so Democrats are feigning terror and stifling ill-concealed glee that Mitt Romney might get the GOP nod.

After eight years of the smarmiest Republican kleptocracy since Teapot Dome, Romney's Mr. Clean act clinks of everything wrong with Republicans — starting with holier-than-thou warmongering and ending with a really delicious vision of Separation of Church and State that looks like it just fell, clueless, off the turnip wagon.

The electorate has exactly one thing on its mind: Iraq. Right now, and forever until the troops come home, Democrats can do no wrong on any issue. And frankly, Mitt Romney looks like a snake oil salesman, or worse — a fool deluded by the same ignorant fantasies about the world and America's part in it that afflict George W. Bush.

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What's with Lou Dobbs? I used to like CNN. I'm siding with the sanctuary guys. For 200 years, the United States and Canada shared an open border, and folks stayed on their respective sides for one special reason: Mutual contempt.

The U.S. thought Canada was Bumblefuck, to use Thomas Cahill's estimable phrase (in Desire of the Everlasting Hills), and Canada thought the U.S. was uncouth, untutored, illbred, obvious and oblivious.

The same thing can work with Mexico, so open the border and boycott Lou Dobbs. I know I do.