This Space Intentionally Left Bank
"Shall I mangle this churl's leg, Hantis?" — Pul the Grik-Dog, final chapter, W.O.K.
The Worst American Poetlike brittle sparrows
Julia Moore, "the Sweet Singer of Michigan" (1847-1920) was so bad that Mark Twain said her first book gave him joy for 20 years.
Her verse was mainly concerned with violent death -- the great fire of Chicago and the yellow fever epidemic proved natural subjects for her pen.
Whether death was by drowning, by fits or by runaway sleigh, the formula was the same:
Have you heard of the dreadful fate
Of Mr. P. P. Bliss and wife?
Of their death I will relate,
And also others lost their life
(in the) Ashtabula Bridge disaster,
Where so many people died.
Even if you started out reasonably healthy in one of Julia's poems, the chances are that after a few stanzas you would be at the bottom of a river or struck by lightning. A critic of the day said she was "worse than a Gatling gun" and in one slim volume counted 21 killed and 9 wounded.
Incredibly, some newspapers were critical of her work, even suggesting that the sweet singer was "semi-literate". Her reply was forthright: "The Editors that has spoken in this scandalous manner have went beyond reason." She added that "literary is a work very difficult to do".
— Stephen Pile, "The Book of Heroic Failures"
What is truth? We must adopt a pragmatic definition: it is what is believed to be the truth. A lie that is put across therefore becomes the truth and may, therefore, be justified. The difficulty is to keep up lying... it is simpler to tell the truth and if a sufficient emergency arises, to tell one, big thumping lie that will then be believed.This is modern times, there ain't supposed to be no more miracles — O'Tempera O'Mores
— Ministry of Information, memo on the maintenance of British civilian morale, 1939
Labels: Truth and Booty Dept.
Labels: It's news to me
Labels: Where's My Pyew 238 Modula-tor?
Labels: Civilization is Soap Dept.
Labels: Not so verbal lately?
Labels: Ten second rule
Labels: Vespa with haiku